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​After months in exile, Grove Hill has finally reopened – and let’s be honest, most of us haven’t the foggiest how to use it anymore.

Have YOU forgotten:

Where is Grove Hill?

Which end are you supposed to go in?

That it’s a hill, and not just a myth passed down in tales from the Co-op queue?

Fear not. Our Grove Hill Refresher Course™ is here to retrain, re-educate, and gently mock you back into operational driving form.

What you’ll learn:

Spotting Grove Hill: Is it a mirage? A portal? A legal road? We help you decide.

How to ascend or descend without crying.

Which end connects to civilisation?

Emergency U-turn protocol for when you forget why you’re even on it.

How to avoid instinctively driving 40 miles around via Bedford because “Grove Hill’s shut, innit.”

Taught by real-life survivors of the closure and one bloke who’s been parked on the junction since February.

Location: The meadow at the Top of Grove Hill

Cow and Donkey rides available (pantomime variety may be substituted due to heatstroke).

Cake stall run by the WI’s tactical catering division.

Includes a complimentary fold-out Grove Hill Recognition Chart and a “I Drove Grove and Survived” badge for your jacket.

Book now – places limited to avoid a pile-up at the brow.

Because Grove Hill is back, baby.

And it’s time you remembered how to use it

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